Only the Good Die Young

Ryan Grabowski and Tyler Lewis

In 2014, when Ryan Grabowski’s father, Rich, was just 56 and otherwise healthy, he started experiencing digestive issues and noticed the whites of his eyes had turned yellow from jaundice. A CT scan and a biopsy confirmed the devastating diagnosis: Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Rich underwent extensive chemotherapy with the hope of shrinking his tumor enough to operate. Even though he was being treated at a renowned cancer center, he contacted other leading cancer centers across the country to see if anyone would take on his case and operate, knowing that surgery was his best chance for long-term survival. Unfortunately, the surgeons agreed that his cancer was too widespread to perform a safe and successful procedure. Despite this massive setback, he never complained, maintained a positive attitude, and fought incredibly hard to seek out clinical trials, determined to have as much time as possible with his wife, four children, and the rest of his family and friends.  

In the face of overwhelming odds, Rich coped by living his life to the fullest and continuing to be the charismatic, entertaining, genuine, and warm-hearted person so many people knew and loved. He quit his job, and he traveled extensively with Ryan’s mom, Rose, throughout the United States and Europe during most of 2015, working their plans around his chemotherapy schedule. “To give you an idea of his perseverance, as opposed to living bed-ridden in the final moments of his life, he instead renovated an entire foreclosed 12-bedroom inn while undergoing chemotherapy,” Ryan shared. “A lot of people in his situation would ask, ‘Why me?’ but he didn’t; he never wanted to take the time to worry about himself.”

By November 2015, the chemotherapy stopped working and there were no other viable treatment options, so Rich started to receive hospice care. In a role reversal, he was the one comforting his loved ones, letting them know he had made peace with what was happening to him, accepting his mortality, and instead focusing on ensuring his family was well taken care of. “They say that only the good die young, and that phrase never really meant much to me until I lost my father to pancreatic cancer,” Ryan shared. “My dad was an unparalleled father, husband, friend and mentor to many and a man who embodied what it meant to be selfless and strong at the same time.”

The Lustgarten Foundation’s mission resonated with the Grabowski family, and after Rich passed away, they created an event representing Rich’s love for bringing people together, his passion for golf, and his family’s desire to help others impacted by pancreatic cancer. They organize and host the annual Richard W. Grabowski Memorial Golf Fundraiser in Connecticut, which has raised more than $135,000 to date for the Lustgarten Foundation’s pancreatic cancer research program. 

In 2024, Ryan joined Team Lustgarten for the TCS New York City Marathon, an annual 26.2-mile run through the five boroughs of New York City. For Ryan, participating in this race is one more way to honor his father and keep his legacy alive. “Even though my mom, siblings, and I now live in different places, we are determined to always show up for each other and keep life fun and spontaneous, like my dad would have wanted,” Ryan said. “His emphasis was always on his family; he was truly the best of us.”

When an additional spot became available on Team Lustgarten for the November 3^rd race, Ryan’s lifelong friend, Tyler Lewis, jumped at the chance to not only conquer something on his bucket list, but more importantly, he wanted to support the Lustgarten Foundation and honor Rich, who had been like an uncle to him. Tyler’s family had spent every winter weekend throughout his entire childhood skiing with the Grabowskis. In fact, his parents continue to spend every weekend with Ryan’s mom and other family friends at the cherished property Rich renovated in Vermont while he was undergoing treatment.

“Rich had boundless energy and never sat still,” Tyler remembers. “The Lustgarten Foundation means a lot to me because it means a lot to the Grabowski family, and some of my best childhood memories are of those winter weekends our families enjoyed skiing. Ryan and I have done bike races, triathlons, and half marathons together, and now we’re enjoying training and raising money together.” They’ve already garnered more than $17,000 for the Foundation through their fundraising efforts surrounding the marathon.

“We’re looking forward to the energy of the New York City Marathon, and of course having lots of family there to cheer us on. I’m most excited to increase awareness of pancreatic cancer and funding for research,” Tyler remarked. “It never hurts to reach out to your network and ask for a donation to a worthy cause. Even if someone is unable to donate, you’re still spreading awareness. Send that email and ride the wave of making it go further.”